may mga masaya merong malungkot. may mga dumating may mga inalis at kinalimutan, mga pangyayaring pinagusapan ng dalawang magkaibigan about relationships, past future and present, may mga taong bumalik at nais bigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon upang mabigyan ng panibagong simula at maitama ang mga maling nagawa ... isang sanay magandang simula ng relasyon nabitin, naudlot at di na talaga natuloy, at isang bagong nagpapakilig, nagpapaisip at nagpapagulo sa diwa at puso ni twinkle ...3 tao na pinagusapan at pinagdiskusyunan ng magkaibigang twinkle at guada over a cup of instant kopi.
si kahapon ay isa na lamang kahapon, natapos na at wala ng pangalawang pagkakataon, hindi na kahit kailanman at dugtungan man itoy sa isang mabuting pagkakaibigan na lamang.
twinkle: " alam ko na mahal ko sya at ayoko mawala ang isang katulad nya sa buhay ko"
guada: " alam mo naman na hindi na pwede yan at masaya na sya sa pinili nyang mahali n at makasama "
si ngayun isang mabuting tao, masarap kasama at alam ko na ito ang taong matagal ko ng hinahanap na makasama, pero bakit? bakit di pa pwede o di na talaga pwede???
guada: "gusto mo ba talaga sya?"
twinkle: "alam ko OO! since nung unang time na nagkakilala kame, alam ko gusto ko sya, BAKIT? kse alam ko eto yung taong alam ko na maghapon magdamag man kameng magkasama matutuwa akong nakikinig at nakikipagkwentuhan sa kanya, eto ang tao ng gusto ko makasama sa beach malasing, mag paitim, mag basa ng libro magzne at komiks, mag kodakan, first time na naramdaman ko to, that I can be with someone na kaya ko na kame lang ng walang ibang kasama at alam ko na mag eenjoy ako... alam ko na sya ang tama at dapat para sa kin, pinagaan nya lahat ng nararamdaman ko na masakit at mabigat, tinanggal nya ang galit sa puso at isip ko, pinabait nya si bitchy twinkle... hay...
guada: "o bat di mo subukan?"
twinkle: "pero di ko na makita uli yung sarili ko sa mga lugar na sinabi ko kanina, gusto ko ibalik nya ko dun!! kaya nya pa kaya? kung na ialis nya ba ko dun, kaya nya din bang ibalik ako dun??"
pero ang mas naging kapanapanabik ay itong si bukas... bakit? di ko alam, kaya mo ba talagang ma explain kung bakit mo gusto ang isang tao, maganda sya at pagkatao nya, mapagmahal at isang mabait na kaibigan.
twinkle: "I think I like hium.."
guada: "ayan pag gusto mo talaga sa akin mo tinutukso" "ayan ka nanaman bakit ba mahilig ka sa kumplikasyun at kuplikadong bagay?"
twinkle: "ang sabi ko gusto lang.. i like... wala akong balak pa, at di siguro yun ang dapat ko unahin, marami pa akong dapat ayusin muna sa buhay ko, ngayun palang ako uli naguumpisa, alam mo naman dalawang bagay lang ang nanasira ng ulo ko divlah? pag ibig at games sa psp hahaha!"
guada: "sus may planu ka, i bet kakaririn mu yan"
(twinkle tahimik napaisip... nasabi sa sarili "not in the near future si future... kung darating, darating ang araw na yun at kung sakali why not?, kaya ko mag intay!! ako? ha! ??? intay?)
twinkle: "sus wala!!! crush lang un!"
twinkle: " alam ko na mahal ko sya at ayoko mawala ang isang katulad nya sa buhay ko"
guada: " alam mo naman na hindi na pwede yan at masaya na sya sa pinili nyang mahali n at makasama "
si ngayun isang mabuting tao, masarap kasama at alam ko na ito ang taong matagal ko ng hinahanap na makasama, pero bakit? bakit di pa pwede o di na talaga pwede???
guada: "gusto mo ba talaga sya?"
twinkle: "alam ko OO! since nung unang time na nagkakilala kame, alam ko gusto ko sya, BAKIT? kse alam ko eto yung taong alam ko na maghapon magdamag man kameng magkasama matutuwa akong nakikinig at nakikipagkwentuhan sa kanya, eto ang tao ng gusto ko makasama sa beach malasing, mag paitim, mag basa ng libro magzne at komiks, mag kodakan, first time na naramdaman ko to, that I can be with someone na kaya ko na kame lang ng walang ibang kasama at alam ko na mag eenjoy ako... alam ko na sya ang tama at dapat para sa kin, pinagaan nya lahat ng nararamdaman ko na masakit at mabigat, tinanggal nya ang galit sa puso at isip ko, pinabait nya si bitchy twinkle... hay...
guada: "o bat di mo subukan?"
twinkle: "pero di ko na makita uli yung sarili ko sa mga lugar na sinabi ko kanina, gusto ko ibalik nya ko dun!! kaya nya pa kaya? kung na ialis nya ba ko dun, kaya nya din bang ibalik ako dun??"
pero ang mas naging kapanapanabik ay itong si bukas... bakit? di ko alam, kaya mo ba talagang ma explain kung bakit mo gusto ang isang tao, maganda sya at pagkatao nya, mapagmahal at isang mabait na kaibigan.
twinkle: "I think I like hium.."
guada: "ayan pag gusto mo talaga sa akin mo tinutukso" "ayan ka nanaman bakit ba mahilig ka sa kumplikasyun at kuplikadong bagay?"
twinkle: "ang sabi ko gusto lang.. i like... wala akong balak pa, at di siguro yun ang dapat ko unahin, marami pa akong dapat ayusin muna sa buhay ko, ngayun palang ako uli naguumpisa, alam mo naman dalawang bagay lang ang nanasira ng ulo ko divlah? pag ibig at games sa psp hahaha!"
guada: "sus may planu ka, i bet kakaririn mu yan"
(twinkle tahimik napaisip... nasabi sa sarili "not in the near future si future... kung darating, darating ang araw na yun at kung sakali why not?, kaya ko mag intay!! ako? ha! ??? intay?)
twinkle: "sus wala!!! crush lang un!"
2 comments:
pagibig na singdalas ng tagaraw....
Twinkle, wala kang kupas! Haha. Isa lang masasabi
ko. Nlulungkot ako sa kwentong ito.
Unsolicited advice, live in d present!!!
Un na!
This post is originally intended for my blog. Due to reasons beyond me, I can't post it there... that's why I'm taking this tiny spot from Twinkle's site (without permission but I know twinkle wouldn't mind)..
LETTING GO .....
Most people have relationships in their past that didn't work. Many people have one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. This is the one that got away, but shouldn't have. This is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. This is the one that felt like true love. This type of a relationship and how to finally let it go is something we all need to learn, me included...
When your partner was at his/her best, he/she met all of your needs. This person was the perfect fit for you. If he/she could be the way he/she was with you 100% of the time, rather then just a fraction of the time, you would be in the relationship still. The times he/she was everything you needed are hard to let go of. You have been looking for this kind of a match all of your life.
Here was a person who could meet your needs the way you have always wanted. You knew he/she could, because he/she had. But he/she wouldn't. You wanted to make him/her, to force him/her, to remind him/her, to talk him/her into it. You did everything possible to make him/her be the way you wanted 100% percent of the time. You probably asked him/her to go see a shrink. You used all of the tricks in the book to evoke the behaviors you wanted.
Finally you left the relationship. You knew you deserve better than just some fraction of what you wanted. But the attachment to your ex-partner lingers. It lingers because you never succeeded in making him or her fulfill your needs completely. It feels as if you failed. You feel that somehow not getting what you wanted was your fault. If you were only good enough your ex-partner would give you the love you wanted, all of the time. After all, he or she did give it to you some of the time.
It is not easy to move onto another relationship after such an experience. It is not easy to attract love, or give your heart to someone new. It is hard to believe you will have such love and passion with anyone else. At the same time, it is hard to trust that you will somehow avoid hurt the next time around.
One of the things that keeps you hooked into the old relationship is anger. Let's talk about the anger that arises when someone has something you want but won't give it to you. As far as you can see, it would be very simple for him or her. It may look like he or she is not doing what you want for no reason, just to be difficult, or to spite you. How do you feel in this kind of a situation? Most people would feel very angry, and justifiably so. But, anger is a way to stay connected to someone, albeit not a positive way. Anger is one reason you may have difficulty letting go of your past relationship.
There is also another reason why it's hard to let go of the relationship that got away. The person you were in love with truly had great qualities. With him/her you truly had an incredible connection. Maybe he or she loved you intensely. He or she may still love you. The only problem in the relationship was that he or she could only treat you well part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she acted hurtfully towards you.
It is very difficult to throw away this type of connection. And more difficult still when you interact with the wonderful, caring side of him or her. Having to walk away from such a relationship can be the hardest thing you ever do. Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart.
It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he/she doesn't care about you. It may even be easier to let go of someone that dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone that is well and alive and loves you is an incredible task. Yet let go you must if your partner is not willing to meet your needs. If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner.
So, how do you do this? How do you let go of the living, breathing partner who may love you, or whom you may love, and yet who is not good for you? How do you let go of the one who seems to have been the one?
If someone has the answers to these questions, please tell me.
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